Glorious insults!

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language became boiled down to 4-letter words.·



A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."·
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."·


"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr·


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill· "


I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow·


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).·


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas·


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain·



"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde·


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill·
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.·


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop·


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright·


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb·


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -Samuel Johnson·


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating·


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -Charles, Count Talleyrand·


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker·


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain·


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West·


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde·


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)·


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder·


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." – Groucho